sunday night and i'm enjoying the long weekend in philadelphia. my fiancee is a little pissed off at me for simply not putting up with her too much. seems like everytime we go thru this same phase of what we like and dont like, its blows up in my face. That being said, i have been thinking of the concept of death lately. sure i'm scared as hell, but sometimes (and i do mean just sometimes...like those twilight hours that one is not sure about being awake or asleep) I feel that I can see myself go under. Is it like a deep sleep coming over you? a sleep that you cannot stop ? is it a fear that takes over your body while every instinct knows that this is it..the end of ones existance? not sure...but as earlier this week, I realized that I will turn 30 this year and saw some kids playing hoops in the street...thought to myself..this is what life should be like...just fun, carefree and no malice. every day that passes you by, its another reason to make yourself happy because time is working against you. depressing isnt it? but the reality is that we cannot stop it. im still looking to believe that there is life after death, i want to see myself be born again...except...right now there is not much hope that we can come back another day. (PS: im not depressed, i end up thinking things too seriously sometimes)