Its my dads 1 yr death anniv and i find myself making the long trip home on an air india flight back to bombay. The journey itslef is the most tiring part of it all, and finally getting home to hug my mother and wake up my lazy-ass sister and niece (or godchild if you may), is a pleasing experience.
im up and about the very next morning (jetlag) only to crash and burn around 3pm. Its dads death anniv on the 13th and well, we do the usual homage including a mass in his memory, and flowers etc. The best part of the trip (if there is any redemption to be had in the sadness) was getting to clean out his grave with my bare hands. It felt like I was taking care of him all over again. A simple task like weeding out plants and creepers left me feeling satisfied, some sort of closure I guess.
Spent a few moments by his grave, praying that he's in a better place (tho i have no doubt about it). I feel much better now, my sadness is starting to wane, i will always miss him, but somehow, in some warped way, going back to "see" him made me happy (i was expecting tears - none came - just a sense of calm and warmth).
Back to the family grind now, will be visiting Pune on the following monday and possibly my college in satara.
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