Friday, January 13, 2006

Engineering Laughs

An old and very dear friend of mine Amrut sent this to me, funny as heck.....

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.

Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...
Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...
Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.
Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.
Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.
Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)
Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP
Tuitions : What you take when you don't waste enough time....
Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.
Vernacular Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?" )
Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which we watch the girls do our experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.
Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in our group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.(from the girls of course...).

The Truth about exams....
Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.
Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...
Re-verification : A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT exam).

An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life

1. Thou shall study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shall never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shall begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.
4. Thou shall treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shall have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. Thou shall pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shall always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shall give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST
9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.
10. Thou shall start every sentence with a four-lettered word.

The Years of Engineering

F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E . Sick Of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering
B.E. Balls to Engineering

Engineers Anthem:

Hum Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear Ek Din, OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum honge all clear ek din

Top two Engineering Rumors:

'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at VJTI'

The most dreaded acronym for Engineers: ATKT (After Trying Keep Trying)

The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college:
Girl to Boy ratio (if more than 0 .025% then that college is engineers dream come true)

Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class
The most important machine for Engineers: Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)
The most important table in an Engineer's House: The glass table (to carry out GT operations, during Night Duty.)
The only queue an Engineer is familiar with: Submission Queue
An Engineer's favourite watch: Bird Watch !

Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'
'I am failing....I got screwed royally'

Feeling after Completing Engineering: Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!!

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