Ode to Dad

Was sitting on a flight heading out to Columbus Ohio and could'nt help but stare out at the clear skies and wonder if there was someone out there...penned my thoughts down as they came:

Thought I had it all figured out,
You and I together
Having a drink, enjoying a shout
Just like birds of a feather

What a remarkable life you've led
a father, a confidante and a friend
now you're gone, but so much to be said,
i hoped we'd grow old together in the end

i do stop and think of you everyday
a moment of smiles and two of sorrow
when all i really want to say
is thank you for yesterday, today and tommorrow.

Married Now

Yes, I finally did it (Nov 19th 2004), the love of my life :) we had a small ceremony at the local district court in PA. People have gone thru emotions of anger (for not telling them), to disgust (for me losing my bachelorhood) to happiness (for us)....
for everything that has been said and for everyone that matters :) i know you understand that we're working our way slowly to making this a successful celebration of life together.
It's been a terrible year otherwise with dads passing, this is the light at the end of a tunnel (and hopefully onto new beginnings)

A poem for dad

This is from my dedication website.. www.regos.us

Gone but never forgotten

Our paths have crossed,
For but a small portion of time
In a relationship this world offers
Me as your son, You, as the father of mine

Yet in these few years,
For all that I've ever known
You've been there with me
A guiding hand to hold, all along

Wish I could have loved you more
For I know that I did not love you less
Yet in loving, I've felt
What many in this world will miss

You.ve left me to face this life
One full of hatred, complications and no one in my corner
But before leaving, gave me the strength
To stand and live with honor.

If I didn't say it, I will say it now
No matter how much time goes by
You will always live thru me
I will always be your son, I will see you on the other side.
~

Remembering Lawrence

A little poem I penned for my late father

Life :)

Boring day today. Hung out at a prior clients site. Waiting to hear back from some of the partners that I work with..seems like someones not doing their job.

Here's a thought..ever wonder what happened to all yr friends from childhood who moved away and you havent heard from in maybe 10-20 years? Ever wonder what it would be like if you were all still stuck in the same time warp hanging out doing stuff with not a care in the world?

India (Updates)

My father is dead (JUL 13 2004). He died fighting a brave battle against cancer at a hospital in Bombay. From the internal bleeds to the blood transfusions to the renal failure to the liver failure (due to intense medications), he kept a positive attitude. We knew as a family that the end was near about 24 hrs before it actually happened. All i could do was whisper in his ear "Dad, you are going to be OK, we're doing everything we can" at the ICU.
I feel like a liar, I feel like I've let down my father who never have let me die (Im sure he would go to the ends of the earth to help me). Yet, after a period of introspection, I've realized that we as a family did everything we could possibly do. He's in a much better place now.
Dad if you're reading this or my thoughts, know that you will never be forgotten. You have always had that special place in my heart, I still cry when I think of everything that you have been through. May your soul find peace just like you did when you took care of us and brought us up and held this family together.

Bombay - Deja vu

Got home in the early hours of the morning. Air France (bunch of dicks) lost all my checked in luggage and then forced me to go thru the red-channel in customs.
Met my dad again, and cried silently in the darkness after i did. My idol now looks like a holocaust survivor. He's gone so skinny that i was afraid to hug him. I hate the way life throws these curveballs at you..especially about people who u think are invincible

Some thoughts

What of this life that we plan?
Not knowing the curve ahead
Yet, hope within hope, a lost cause
For darkness is the only victor.

Should we forget our kin
humankind and a transparent future...
I for one would strive for that state
not country, not land, only in mind.

The trip to India -- revisited

Just found out that my pops had to undergo a major surgery to remove three MORE lumps that they found in his intestines...will be returning to Bombay this coming monday to attend to him. People at my work place are probably rolling their eyes at me and basically indirectly telling me that my promotion is going down the drain.
Reality is family is always first..be it with my fiancee or my blood. My sis will be coming down from the Middle-east to see pops, so this promses to be fun.
Well India..here i come..hang in there pops

Status of my dad

Got some bad news this week..my dad seemed to be recovering Ok until he went to the hospital for a follow up scan. Turns out that he has 3 more lumps in his small intestine. The docs have now sent a sample for a lypm-node cancer biopsy/histopathology report. Keeping my fingers crossed and saying a little prayer for a man who has never done any wrong to anyone all his life.

Testing the Mail Blogs

Did'nt know one could do this..lets hope it works. If you see this message, it prolly does :)

The Journey Back

Somehow, everytimg I travel, something goes wrong. Bombay had a major power blackout on Tuesday (18th May) at 9pm. Knowing how we work in Bbay, my family asked me to hurry up and rush for the airport coz most all roads would be clogged with traffic and the newly fallen first rains of the season. Thanks to my buddy Royce, we managed to make it on time.
Flight back to the US was uneventful and included a 7 hr stopover in Amsterdam. Managed to get back at around 9pm (EST) home. Gosh I'm so happy to see my fiancee all over again, its like I was away from her for a million years (sucker!!!). Well I think I will chill this weekend and get in line to start work on Monday

Sunday - Two days to my return

This has been really weighing heavily over me. I will be returning to the good ole USofA in a couple of days leaving my folks behind.. What sucks is that I feel I should be around them more. Isn't it wierd that u spend yr teenage years hating and rebelling against ur parents and then you go away from them and realize how much they mean to you. Well, here I am.
A friend of mine was visiting from Goa over the last couple of days. His bud insisted that we go to a place called "The Hawaiian Shack" located near Pali. Turns out the place scams you for a cover charge and then dosnt stop people from entering. It was so crowded that one couldn't move and the aircons werent clearing the smoke from peoples cigarettes effectively. Being an ex-smoker, I positively HATE the smell of cigarettes in a closed room. Needless to say, I woke up saturday morning with a sore throat and a bad headache (and I didn't have more than a couple of beers). No more clubs for me, Im an old old man now :)

Iraq and the state of current affairs

I guess at this point everyone is talking about one of two things; the Abu Ghraib prison abuse and the execution of Nick Berg. The execution reminds us of these animals we deal with, these so-called purveyors of the words of god, these hate-mongers who would kill anyone that stood in the way of their self-righteousness. Make no mistake, there is NO argument these people can place forth that justifies their actions, nothing, nada, zilch. I sure hope they find those masked people and bring them to an equal justice. An eye for an eye. My sympathies with the Berg family.

As for the prison abuse, though many may argue that these people are animals and need to be treated that way for interrogation...my two cents is: Dont torture them if you are gonna take pictures and release it to the media. Thats a dumbass move. And yes, please find someone accountable now that you have been caught in the act posing for pictures...

Im frustrated with the way the world is going....as earlier, there never seems to be any good news in the air these days...all about death and destruction. What we need now is a period of peace and love for our race (yes the human race..not hindus or muslims or chritians or whatever..we're all human first).

India Continued

Still in Mumbai melting away in the sweltering heat..my dads case was (surprisingly) misdiagnosed and a second (and third) opinion confirmed that. A wave of relief came over the whole family and now we're trying hard to get life back to normal. My mom is driving me nuts, her cholesterol is at an all time high, and, after spending a night at the hospital..she comes back home and grabs a buttered sandwich. Beats the crap out of me how someone so old in life can just brush away the concern of other people...
my trip ends next tuesday the 19th and i know im gonna miss my folks loads..but its life and one must move on. i hope to be back in december to spend xmas with the family..
all in all, its been very satisfying spending some quality time with the folk and basically helping my dad back to health

Bombay India

Ah, finally got here on April 13th to see my family. Turns out that the news is not so good, the docs suspect that my dad has a malignant lymphoma of the small intestine. On hearing the news, I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut. Now all i seem to do is run around between hospitals making sure that the fucking doctors know what they are doing with the biopsies.
Today is election day in Bombay and I'm sure it will be another day marred with violence. My faith in the Indian government is totally non-existant. I have never seen a leader come to power who kept his/her promises and was not corrupt. Lets see what crap this election results in.
So much for India shining...

A colleague

Just found out that a colleague of mine is getting divorced. He's a real nice guy, but it seems to me that his wife had other plans in life (and I dont mean cheating). He's totally shattered and well, I feel for this guy a lot. We've been friends for a short while now, and he's just the nicest person around. Hang in there buddy...there IS light at the end of the tunnel, and your tunnel has only just begun

Family

My dad gave the family a bit of a shocker when he keeled over with abdominal pain last week. Turned out to be a blocked intestine and the doctors managed to clear out the blockage without surgery. This guy is my best buddy and he keeps thinking he's invincible. He feels that he should'nt bother people with his aches and pains coz that just makes him a burden. Dear dad...if only you knew that we DO care so much for you :)

Ongoings...

Coming to the end of my current client engagement. Not much to really look forward to after that. The market has been pretty bad for Management Consultants over the past few years and despite everyone's optimism that this will be the year of the rebound, I think its going to take much longer.

Ever get into the debate on outsourcing? About how we're losing our jobs here to people in India and China? I guess thats the price of capitalism....you go where is economically beneficial and where it keeps your company out of the red.

Killings...ever wonder why all we hear is bad news on TV on the radio? Someone blowing themselves up in Israel, our soldiers dying in Iraq and Afghanistan, unrest in the middle east, al-qaeda and god knows how many other fundamentalist organizations just looking to kill someone? Yes, I know its in our nature to destroy ourselves...but this is getting ridiculous. Somebody do something about all this...and I DONT mean more violence.

Presidents Day Weekend

Coming right up... am off to Detroit to see my favorite person in the whole world..my fiancee ..poor thing, she has to work over the weekend, but thats what comes with an IT support job. Lets hope we can do something fun for valentines day..

Back...2004

I know, I know.. I haven't updated this page in donkeys years..
Some of the recent past has kind of had me in a spin...everything from working with this arrogant colleague who thinks that hes the best thing since slicede bread to being bored out of my skull doing what i do.

i think i'm looking forward to my annual vacation home...my dad's been bustin me for not showing up last xmas (but it really was work related dad!!!)
trying to catch up with friends from the old country and not doing too good a job at it :(

Ever wonder if you will take hold of life and seize the moment? or will you just coast thru it until you meet yr end...now there's a thought

More

Maybe this the restart of the phase that got me into blogging...initially crazy enuff to post 2-3 times a day...after that disappear for 4 months.
Seems like Philadelphia has a little colder weather than normal this time of the year..oh well nothing to worry about though. My fiancee will be returning tonite from Detroit and well, I'm always looking forward to seeing her. Ever have that special someone in your life who transcends the space time continuum? Sure we fight all the time, but shes my kinda girl. Always up for things, always nice and loving and of course always someone i can put my trust in.
In case you're wondering, no.....i didn't just fall in love...its been 8 years now and I still feel the same :)

Another day..

Had a fight with the fiancee today..its one of those things that basically ends up in a huuuge fight. The intent was good, bad execution of my words I guess...
this week is going to be a lonely one :)