Sunday, July 31, 2005

The Goa trip, the Mumbai rains

Just got back from Goa. Was a nice trip away with family to do our quirky things together. Namely, fighting and arguing at a location outside of Bombay :). The rains in Bombay did cause our flights to get cancelled and all roads etc to the city were closed down. Thankfully a friend (You know who you are) helped us get some special tickets thro' his contacts and we were able to return. My heart goes out to all of those who lost their loved ones and homes in the terrible rains that came down on this city. Bombay will always be where my heart lies.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

The Nothingness

Had a fight with the wife over things that she just doesn't understand. Penned my thoughts around these:

"The Nothingness"

A strange wind sweeps across my being,
one of emptiness and fear inside
The apprehension of all that is near,
yet, afraid to abide.

A thought drops into my mind,
the splash heard so loud and far
Inside of me, a feeling of abandonment,
a feeling of not knowing who you are.

The creation of state of mind
a that of being within so far
escapement from that which holds
us to the bonds of anger

Time, heal the victims of life
And situations with it
Time, watch my days go by
And me with it.

A small speck on the wall of this world,
a small factor in its function
all i want is to stand near
the one i love with conviction

If salvage exists in a way I understand,
if redemption happens in compromise
I wish that you would reach out your hand,
and together we reach for the skies!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

1 yr Anniversary

Its my dads 1 yr death anniv and i find myself making the long trip home on an air india flight back to bombay. The journey itslef is the most tiring part of it all, and finally getting home to hug my mother and wake up my lazy-ass sister and niece (or godchild if you may), is a pleasing experience.

im up and about the very next morning (jetlag) only to crash and burn around 3pm. Its dads death anniv on the 13th and well, we do the usual homage including a mass in his memory, and flowers etc. The best part of the trip (if there is any redemption to be had in the sadness) was getting to clean out his grave with my bare hands. It felt like I was taking care of him all over again. A simple task like weeding out plants and creepers left me feeling satisfied, some sort of closure I guess.

Spent a few moments by his grave, praying that he's in a better place (tho i have no doubt about it). I feel much better now, my sadness is starting to wane, i will always miss him, but somehow, in some warped way, going back to "see" him made me happy (i was expecting tears - none came - just a sense of calm and warmth).

Back to the family grind now, will be visiting Pune on the following monday and possibly my college in satara.